Halford was a nympher.

or, Floating Flies and How to Undress Nymphs: A Treatise on the most Modern Methods of Dressing Artificial Flies for Trout and Grayling while Getting Some by the Water– by Frederic M. Halford 1886

a far cry from what historians would want us to believe, recent in-deep research and accounts from french collaborateur scientists and a few dried-out victims have shown that Halford’s inclination wasn’t so much about fishing or dry fly dressing, but rather voracious buggered’ nymph-undressing fiending and the whole dry-fly purity was just a ploy to confuse his wife Eileen (and lull her into a deep sleep) while he was out doing the ‘angle’.  wow

a few quotes from his admirers:

“Always searching for some freshly hatched bug, forever on the prowl for willing stream-side nymphettes and damsels or whatever might come by when a hatch wasn’t on.”

“N’er dry, Me likem’ moist !” he was known to say. sorry to be so repetitive but i have to add another wow

“Halford is pictured by many as a joyless old didact who enforced the dry fly code against all reasoned opposition. As modern science has proved this is not the case. Although Halford’s writing was heavily influenced by the fact that he had relatively little experience of fishing the wet fly, we certainly won’t hold it against him for the simple reason being, he wasn’t actually fishing.
The Halford cronies that followed in his wake were somewhat less forgiving in their attitude to moisty fly fishing, and in particular in their opposition to the use in any form of the nymph whether it be on land or in water. Frederic Halford himself is a pivoting figure in fly fishing history. Whilst some of Halford’s reasoning may be open to question, his dedication is not, and the man who gave so much of his life to the development of dry fly fishing deservedly takes his place among the great men of the angle.”

anyhow, regardless of his inclines, the book below is a feast for the eyes and a gateway through a time portal towards a charming old moldy past. i highly recommend reading it, specially while at work.

click HERE to download the pdf of this fantastic book. the file’s a little slow to come up and scrolling’s slow too but it’s well worth the wait !

via Open Library and a slightly distorted translation of
Fly Fishing History‘s texts.

where it all happened…

21 thoughts on “Halford was a nympher.

  1. he was a very selfish man Marc, secretly catching many, many browns and graylings on nymphs, but writing books on floating flies for the followers of the cult:-))

  2. that’s right Alex !
    nymphers are all evil, selfish, deviant barstools ready to moisten the hook anywhere. their ‘sport’ is deceit and deception and making it look like a shrimp ! (it shows in their small sketchy-beady ferret-like eyes. and elsewhere…)
    it is sad that so many followers could be so gullible and stupid enough to buy the book even though it’s free on the internet, but i mostly feel bad for Eileen. poor woman…

  3. yep, these barstools are catching 90% of the fish Marc and the dry fly men have no clue misled by Halford. I feel sory for Eileen too, was she pretty? Both first and second edition of the book are on line. The second edition has the last chapter called “The Manegement Of A Fishery” omitted. Its about Halford giving instructions how to stock the river, so even the the followers of the dry fly cult would be able to hook a fish or two on floating flies any time, poor lost souls! :-))

  4. from the english newspaper ‘The Fly Fishing Sun’ 1889
    “Eileen (Mrs. Halford) had the particularity of having perfectly symmetric breasts, (mapped, graphed and meticulously gauged by prominent experts of the Court) who’s rumours of such perfection brought in the hoards with various gifts and analyzing implements from miles around. The poor lass (we’ll notice the very informal term for the Lady, quite shocking for the times specially in such an esteemed newspaper. Many readers concluded that the author was in fact one of the ‘Lasses’ cartographers) greatly suffered of her popularity due to the negligence of her uncaring and selfish ‘nymphing’ husband, the ill-famed Mr. Halford. She was known to cry out from the window, “I’m so alone even though I’m completely surrounded by cartographers and topologists !” this not only scared the birds but left her depressed and she eventually shriveled and became asymmetric”

    now, do you see the evil in it all, Alex ?!

    • Marc, i always suspected that there is something gayish with the ill famed Mr.Halford, Im pretty sure he was not good enough with the nymphing side of the fly fishing as well. Poor Mrs Eileen, his pathethic upstream dry fly only fly fishing fashism promoter didnt pay her enough attention!

  5. Halford was shown the dry fly method by Marryat who imported the method and the flies for that purpose from Tasmania.

    Following his attempts to procure some fur for Tups Indispensables, Halford had no gonads so Eileen’s perfection remained unmolested.

    The first specific mention of dry fly usage is in Ettingshall

    • hey Roy ! great to see ya here and your words of wisdom are most welcome !
      i’m thinking there might be a pattern here:
      can you affirm in any manner that Marryat was ball-less as well ? this would explain a lot.
      cheers,
      marc

  6. more from his admirers: pronounced at his burial, we’ll notice the key words- ‘dangerous’, ‘floor’, ‘onions’ and ‘too helpful’.

    “He was a dangerous man to tackle in an argument if your knowledge of the moist nymphs was rickety. He was emphatically what is termed a well-formed man, for that through and through thoroughness of his stamped his knowledge and ruled his memory. You could not always agree with him, but could seldom floor him, the ground he stood upon being rock-solid. As both a giver and taker of the chaff he was an adept. He had the courage of his onions, (i think they meant to write ‘opinions’) and none wiser that he when it was best to keep his onions in unknown quantity. (this time i’m not sure what they meant) In travelling or by the waterside he was wonderfully helpful if help was good for you-perhaps, if anything, too helpful.”

    what a ruthless deviant barstool, good thing he’s dead ! :mrgreen:

  7. what a ruthless deviant barstool, good thing he’s dead !

    Not exatly Marc! He has his followers with the like mentality alive, boring morones:)

  8. […] read. a quirky style from the past written in the third person and filled with jabs directed at his moroonic purist opponents, there might be a few elements that may have been proven otherwise since but there’s a lot […]

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