last time i went fishing i blanked. now onto more interesting stuff.
apart from the mandatory rod, reel, line, well organized chest-pack with nippers (well sharpened), forceps, floatant, net, sink paste, extra tippet, extra leaders, some flies, hand rag, tippet rings, a do-whatever needle, hook sharpening stone, lip gook, extra nippers, amadou patch (from Troutline), knife, emergency whistle, lighter and smokey things, hat, polarizer glasses in amber & yellow, buff and whatever clothing needed for the day and a million more things (basically all the above in double or triple) safely tucked away next to the mattress and the chocolate box in the van, the absolute most biggest necessity for a successful day on the water:
isn’t really the custom engraved, on-the-go espresso maker but the van.
see, what happened is, not only had i not brought the coffee maker (which isn’t such a big thing considering i didn’t yet own this beauty at the time) but since the van was at the doctor’s i took another car for the day. a Mazda.
i did miss two strikes, one on a dry and the other on a nymph and i did actually see one whole fish within range but wasn’t able to present a fly to it it before it wandered off out of sight: meaning that even if it was all trickle, drop by drop slow, the fish hadn’t all mysteriously disappeared into some weird, black, worm-hole (more on that later) but simply that my good mojo had been sucked out by the freak replacement vehicle on the trip to the water.
going back through my fishing journal at home i realized that blanking hadn’t happened in the last year and a half. i believe that’s a first for me since i started fishing something like 47 years ago so i’m actually quite pleased. blanking in itself isn’t any problem whatsoever, it’s actually a good thing as it makes one think a lot more about why one blanked as opposed to when having a good day where i’ll find myself running on ‘automatic’ and all seems to happen in a blur. sort of. besides, thinking doesn’t hurt.
anyhow, on that particular far away day i happened to have gone to the water in someone else’s car and it happened to be a Mazda.
random occurrences are only considered random because our brains aren’t sufficiently developed to encompass all variables and we comfortingly use it as an excuse so, what remains is, things don’t happen without a cause and finally, we can deduct through scientific proof (of sorts… but these two incidences are more than enough for me to reach this conclusion) that blank fly fishing days are caused by Mazdas.
as for the worms, thanks to our friends at Fly Fish Food in what might just be the most important reminder a fly fisher should keep in mind at all times: ie, that all fish love worms in one form or another and will eat them any time, anywhere and even just for heck of it, perhaps with the idea of embarrassing the more ‘noble’ insects such as mayflies: double-meaning that if we chose to try to entice them with anything else, it’s just a matter of irrational wishful thinking. combine the latter with a deep mojo-sucking Mazda and you’re screwed from the get-go.
to conclude, firstly as a public service/good will thing to my fellow fly anglers and mankind in general, i sincerely hope the Mazda company collapses. something like a big huge-monsterous tsunami tidal wave while the employees are out having coffee would do the trick nicely i think. i don’t really mean them much harm as i’m sure fly fishing mojo probably isn’t very high on their list and they’re not doing it on purpose but fuckem’ for making me blank.