the Stupid Cobra contest ! second entry

by Acey Fiveash, USA

“Technically this didn’t happen while fishing but it definitely affected my fishing.

About two weeks before my one and only trip to Alaska I came home from a beer drinking trip where a little bit of fishing went on,  I stumbled in the door my wife looks at me and says “Well if I knew you were just going to get drunk I would have convinced you to stay home today.”
“How, pray tell, would you have done that?” I failed to enunciate clearly in her general direction.
“How do you think,” she asked seductively.
“I would have gone anyway.”
Suddenly her mood changed. “You’re telling me you would rather go fishing than have sex?”
“Well yeah,” the beer in my system stupidly said for me. “I know how sex is going to end and I can get that done all by myself. Fishing is exciting…” That’s when my brain caught up to what the booze was saying. “I mean…”
“No, no, no. I know what you mean. You MEAN you’re going to be getting ‘That Done’ all by yourself from here on out.”
And that’s how, in the form of one of the greatest sacrifices of my life, I went to Alaska without any fly rods.”

the Stupid Cobra contest !- first entry

by Rudy van der Meer, Holland

…Last fall I went to a lake on the other side off the country (Oostvoornse Meer, about a 300km ride for me). Just about when I was halfway there I realised I had left my wading jacket at home. A few minutes later I heard the weatherforecast on the radio; start of the day would be nice but into the afternoon the rain would come.
I called my friends, who I would meet later that day at the lake, to ask if they could bring a spare jacket for me. I got the voicemail and left a message, not sure if my friend would hear it in time. Oh well, to late to turn back now. And I didn’t think it was gonna rain all day anyway.

When I arrived at my destination, the weather was fine, just like I thought. I slipped into my waders and got ready to fish. I then found out that the waterproof pouch I usually put my cellphone and my carkeys in were probably in one the pockets of my wading jacket which….
I had left home.
Oh well.. I wasn’ t planning on wading deep anyway. So what the heck; time to do some fishing!

And fish I did.

After a few hours the sky turned grey and i felt the first drops of rain.
These first few drops soon turned into an impressive downpour and I decided this might be a good moment to retreat to my car, sit out the rain and wait for my friends. Who might or might not have gotten my message about the forgotten wading jacket.
I started making my way back on the dam I was on.
At the end of the dam I had to cross over to land to get back to my car.
I stepped of the dam on to what I thought was the bottom, which as it turned out to be, was actually a patch of weeds which desecended into the depths quite a lot  more than I had expected.

I don’t think I need to explain the result of this lack of judgement…
A few moments after my nosedive where I nearly lost an almost brandnew flyrod, I realised I had just drowned my iPhone and my carkeys. I also discovered that a Nanopuff jacket can soak up an impressive amount of water in a surprisingly little amount of time.
But frankly, the jacket was the least of my worries.
I had a phone in my hand which was constantly buzzing (probably shivering because the water was cold, according to one off my friends, thank you very much), and I had this funny feeling about my car keys.

My thoughts about the car keys turned out to be the first thing I got right that day. When I got near the car, it started opening and closing the locks all by itself accompanied by the spontaneous opening and closing of all the windows. This whole car-coming-to-live thing was a real good way to get attention from a lot of people in the parking lot. And the fun had only just begun, because I was still wearing my wet clothes and was starting to shiver just about is much as my drowned phone which had taken its last breath during my walk over to the car. No choice but to strip naked in the parking lot and get on some dry clothes. Nothing was gonna stop me from doing that. You can picture the scene: Car behaving strange with a dude in the nude behind it, but I somehow managed to get into my car and drive over to the cabin my friends and I booked for the night.

Off course there was no heater in there,

off course my friends didn’t get my message about the jacket, and

off course my clothes were still wet the next day,

but fish I did.

Oh yeah, I fished all right.

Like a man on a mission.

And after covering a whole lot of water out of nothing my line went tight and my rod bend.

A big fish had taken my shrimp and took off, heading for, well… somewhere far away from me.

After all this bad luck, I struck gold. All the hardship from the day before vanished in an instant.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Redeem the damned.

And then the line went slack……